Nordic Larp

Author: Elin Dalstål

  • Emotionally Pacing for Larps – How To Get the Best Rollercoaster Ride

    Published on

    in

    Emotionally Pacing for Larps – How To Get the Best Rollercoaster Ride

    Written by

    Editorial note: This article was originally published in the Knutepunkt 2025 book Anatomy of Larp Thoughts, a breathing corpus. It has been reprinted from there with the editors’ and authors’ permission. It has not been edited by Nordiclarp.org.

    We larp because we want intense emotional experiences. We want to shiver with fear, cry over tragedies, give in to the rage, and laugh with joy. Yet such feelings are not sustainable without crashing afterwards. Intense emotions might come in waves, but they leave exhaustion in their wake.

    In contrast to those feelings we also need less intense, more subtle feelings. Worry, annoyance, companionship or gentleness for example. Less intense feelings offer just as rich play experiences and are needed to contrast and complement the more intense emotional spectra.

    In addition we need emotional downtime, to reflect, recover, and rest – particularly during a longer larp – as larping is emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically demanding. This enables players to have the energy to really engage with the story.

    This article is about how you both as a player and organizer can plan and execute your larp for maximal emotional impact as well as emotional sustainability. So how do you do it?

    My suggestion is that you draw a squiggly line, but we will get to that later.

    How intense do you want the larp?

    First, consider how emotionally intense you want the larp. As a designer this is a big choice that will affect all players. Choose baseline intensity to fit the overall design, but be aware that there will be players both above and below whatever baseline you chose. When you make this choice as a player, you make it in relationship to whatever baseline the larp design aims for. Some larps are low-key by nature, and some larps strive for the most intense experience possible. No matter what, I think all larps benefit from some variation in intensity. Even a low-key experience about baking bread needs some variation, even if it is just an acknowledgement that some stages of baking bread are more stressful than others.

    It is easy to imagine that “more intense = better”, as if larp was an extreme sport about always climbing the tallest mountain possible. It is not. Sometimes you might want to climb a tall mountain, but sometimes you just want to go on an easy hike and enjoy nature, and sometimes you might want to visit a specific site. Striving for maximal intensity is a valid agenda, but only one among many.

    Decide what you want for the larp you are going to, or the larp you are designing. What mix of high and low intensity play do you want? What range of experiences would make you happy? This might be a bit hard to think about, so let me help you.

    Four levels of intensity

    One way to think about this is dividing the emotional intensity into four rough levels, and that is how I am going to talk about it for the rest of the article. This scale is not absolute but relative to the playstyle at the larp. At a very low-key bread-baking larp “high intensity” might mean harsh words being spoken, while at a super-dramatic save-the-world larp it might mean the possible end of humanity.

    High intensity

    These are the most intense scenes. If a character is angry they are as angry as they get, if they are sad they are a heartbroken mess, and if they are happy their joy couldn’t be greater. The absolute highs and lows.What this looks like might differ, as we as people express and experience emotions differently. But this might be weeping uncontrollably over your father’s lifeless body, or the primal scream of rage and betrayal, or absolute fucking panicked horror.

    Mid intensity

    In this one emotions and activity level might be a bit heightened, for example your character might be pissed off, but they are not raging. A character might be curious but not desperate in their search for knowledge, for example. Much of a larp might be happening on this level, because many of us want to spend most of our play at this level.

    Low intensity

    Here things are even more chill. There will be emotions, but the emotions are not pressing. Here you find characters that are relaxed, or a bit thoughtful, or “meh”, or displeased about something. A lot of meaningful play can be found here in the form of deep and meaningful conversations. They are just not emotionally intense.

    Recovery

    At this level players are actively resting. Either in character, or out of character. It might mean having a nap, doing some task like chopping firewood or going on a walk to clear their head. Or doing some very low-key relaxing play, for example I had wonderful scenes laying half-dozing in a tent next to my in game companions listening to musicians play. Some players might need to go out of character (at least mentally) to disengage from the feelings of their character to recover, either because they can’t fully relax in character or because what is going on in character is too intense to allow them to relax. As a designer you don’t always plan for this level, because this is something the player must choose to do for it to happen. But you can communicate to players when they have a chance to rest without missing out. It might be something as simple as communicating “after meals there will be a bit of a lull, so if you need to rest or go out of character it is a good time to do so”.

    Check out other media

    One way to help you with this analysis is to watch a movie, especially a movie with a lot of intense feelings, and try to keep track of the emotional tension in the scenes that play out. You will see that the emotional intensity comes in waves. Even a horror movie that is all about causing intense feelings will have low intensity scenes interlaced with the more tense ones, as contrast and to not exhaust the watcher emotionally and make them disengage. Try to identify where on the scale different scenes fall.

    Length of the larp

    Secondly, consider the length of the larp. The shorter a larp is, the less of an issue emotional sustainability is. All larps can benefit from giving some thought to emotional pacing, but a short larp faces less risk of exhausting the players. For an 1-2 hour larp many of us can maintain maximum intensity and come out on the other side of it without ever having to pull on the brakes. You probably won’t need to recover emotionally during the larp because the experiences will be over soon and the natural ebb and flow of the game will offer enough micro pauses in itself.

    The longer a larp gets, the more you have to think about emotional sustainability. Already at a 3-5 hour larp you probably need some variation in the intensity of play, because very few of us can keep playing the same level of emotional intensity for hours. We want and we need some variation at this point.

    Anything longer than that, especially multi-day events, larps need an emotional pacing to create the best possible experience. We will want high intensity, mid intensity and low intensity scenes and some chances to recover to be able to best engage with the story.

    Draw a squiggly line

    Thirdly, draw a squiggly line. Do it before the larp as a player, or during the design stage as a designer. Divide a paper into two axes. One is time, and one is intensity. On the intensity scale divide it into four zones. High intensity, mid intensity, low intensity and recovery. Then map out the larp roughly.

    You are striving for waves of intensity. Ebb and flow. The map should look like a mountain landscape with peaks and valleys, where you switch between the different zones (high, mid, low and recovery) and don’t stay all the time in one zone. Like this for example:

    Diagram by Elin Dalstål
    Diagram by Elin Dalstål

    As an organizer

    Depending on the style of larp it might be possible to make a very detailed outline or a very rough one. For a sandbox larp, where you have a lot of factions acting independently, it can be very hard to guess what and when things are going to happen both as a player and as an organizer. Just make a rough guess based on what you know. It is helpful to plan around meals, as their timing is something you generally know. Often you can make an educated guess at the meal’s intensity as well. (Breakfast is usually a low intensity meal, while a banquet with entertainment might be a high intensity scene.)

    On the other end of the spectrum you can, as an organizer, plan the curve almost down to the minute, if you have a lot of planned events and probable outcomes. Here I zoomed in on the Friday in the previous example to show what a very detailed curve might look like, dividing the two big waves into even smaller ones.

    If you have a different group of characters at a larp that will have very different larp experience with different timings, draw separate curves for those groups and see how they play out.

    Diagram by Elin Dalstål
    Diagram by Elin Dalstål

    Of course, whatever line you draw, it won’t work out that way. There will be delays and things happening out of sync. Every individual player will on top of that follow their own dramatic curve due to all the small events and interaction that make up a larp. Also they will find different things emotionally intense. That is natural. Going through the trouble of having drawn this squiggly line will help you troubleshoot your larp design and create at least a rough plan for the pacing.

    Try to pace the low intensity scene so that if the players want to withdraw to rest they can do so at those occasions without missing out on much.

    As a player

    When you are a player, there are usually a lot of unknowns. You might have no idea what the organizers or your co-players are planning. I still think it is best that you draw a squiggly line to make a rough game plan. For example, try to kick off strong on Friday, round off with some calmer play late at night, head to bed, start out strong Saturday morning, try to find some time to rest on Saturday afternoon, go hard again until you head to bed and go for low or mid intensity play on Sunday because you have a long drive home.

    That is still a plan that might help you get the best possible experience out of the larp. If you made a plan you can also figure out if there is anything you want to communicate with your coplayers. In this example you might want to tell them that you plan to take it a bit easy on Sunday because you have a long drive home, so the big dramatic confrontation might happen on Saturday evening instead.

    Diagram by Elin Dalstål
    Diagram by Elin Dalstål

    Go for variety

    While we larp it can be tempting to just go for the high drama, the high intensity all the time both as designer and as players.. Chasing the next high until we run off a cliff or into a wall. Unless the larp is very short, don’t do it. Be a boring adult and pace yourself. Remember that less intense play is just as meaningful and rewarding. It is not always the most dramatic scenes that are the best ones. On top of that you need some less intense scenes to give meaning and contrast to the dramatic scenes. Unless you establish your character’s relationship by having scenes where you just hang out and talk about nonsense, your friend’s dramatic death won’t mean as much to you if it happens later. The low-key scenes are instrumental to give the high intensity scenes meaning.

    At the same time others have a tendency to hold back. Always staying at low to mid intensity, playing it safe and never getting into the strong feelings also means that they are missing out. Having a squiggly line plan can help some players actually go for more intense play without being afraid of crashing afterwards.

    Either way, pace yourself and go for variety in the emotional intensity.

    Abandon the squiggly line!

    Lastly, no plan survives contact with the enemy. Once play starts, throw your carefully made plan out of the window, or at least revise it. You never know how things are going to play out during a larp.

    Revise your plan and create a new squiggly line. As a player, if you had low intensity play, jump at the next chance to up the intensity. If you had very intense play, seek out something more low key or go have some rest. Feel your energy levels and plan ahead.

    As an organizer feel out the pacing of the game. If things just unexpectedly exploded, then create space for more low key play. If there has been a long lull, see if you can turn up the heat.

    Closing words

    Pace yourself and pace your design. Intense emotional experiences become more available to you and more sustainable if you have variety to the intensity of your play, both as a designer and as an individual player. Enjoy the whole intensity range, low intensity scenes can be just as beautiful and captivating as high intensity scenes.

    Draw a squiggly line to create a plan for the larp, and abandon your squiggly line when it doesn’t work out but still try to pace your play based on the new circumstances.

    I hope this mindset helps. Pace your larps however works for you, because variety in how we design and play larps is just as important as any other type of variety.

    Cover image: Photo by Gino Crescoli from Pixabay.

  • Playing Nasty Characters

    Published on

    in

    Playing Nasty Characters

    Written by

    In this article, I will address some things to keep in mind when playing certain types of characters: villains, cruel bastards, heartless manipulators, unsympathetic types, mighty evil overlords or schoolyard bullies. For simplicity’s sake, I will just call them nasty characters. You might want to play such characters for various reasons, because the story needs an evil emperor as well as heroic rebels, or because you want to explore the psychology behind cruel actions. Or perhaps just because it’s a fun acting challenge.

    Playing Nasty – Easy for Some, Hard for Others

    Before writing this article, I asked around among online and among my friends about their insights into playing nasty characters. Something that came up is that people experience it very differently. For some people playing a nasty role was no different than playing any other type of role, for others it was an emotional struggle or downright impossible.

    I can’t speak for those who find it a torment to play an evil character, because for me it comes easy. When I was five I jumped at the opportunity to play the evil knight Kato from Astrid Lindgren’s “Mio, my son” in the school play. I generally always enjoy playing a nasty character.

    But I can say that it is common to be uncomfortable playing nasty characters. In some cases that doesn’t change no matter how much practice you get. If you notice that playing a villain isn’t for you, then there is no need for you to torment yourself. It is okay to not be comfortable playing nasty characters. But if you want to play a nasty character, here some of my best tips.

    Actions and/or Personality

    What defines a nasty character? Their actions or their personality? On the one hand, it is possible to play a charming and pleasant character that does horrible things. On the other hand, it’s just as possible to play a character with a personality as repulsive as a maggot-infested wound that still manages to do good things.

    I regard both character types as nasty characters, at least for the purpose of this article, because they face similar challenges in how you as a player are meant to stir up negative emotions in other players without going overboard.

    A character that is pleasant but does horrible thing tends to make others feel rage, hate, betrayal, disgust and fear when it becomes clear that the character does horrible things. Other characters may react with denial if their trust and liking of that character goes too deep. A character that seems nice but isn’t will often stir up lots of intense and personal emotions.

    While an unsympathetic, mean, or repulsive character that does good things tends to have others first react with negative feelings, that might lessen over time or be mixed up with some sort of grudging respect as it becomes clear that the character, no matter how nasty they appear, does good things.

    Yet, most nasty characters fall between these extremes. They seldom have a 100% repulsive personality, nor is every action they take pure evil. What differentiates them from more sympathetic characters is that their unsympathetic sides are more predominant compared to other characters.

    How Nasty Can You Play?

    So how horrible, unpleasant, cruel, violent or mean can you play during a larp? To get an answer to that question there are three perspectives to take into account: the organizers, other players and your own.

    The first thing to figure out is what the different perspectives WANT. Ask them what sort of nastiness they want and would like. Ask yourself that too. That is the sweet spot you are looking for. After you figure out what people want, you can begin asking yourself and others what their limits are, what they would or wouldn’t be okay with. Aim for the wants and avoid the limits.

    Before the larp read the game materials and get in touch with the organizers. Try to get a feel for what sorts and levels of nastiness they want for the game. Try to have concrete discussions, with concrete examples. For example: “Is systematic bullying something they want for their game? Is violence? How do you want it to be done? What safety techniques will be used? “ And so on.

    If you have the opportunity you can talk with other players before the game and ask them what sort of interactions they want, and then if there are some things they would want you to avoid.

    Try to sort out what you want and what your limits are too. Often it is easy to think that you want to try to take it as far as you can, but that often means that your character will be so extreme that you miss out on nuanced interactions.

    No matter what sort of answers you get, keep in mind people might change their minds and have every right to do so. People might realize that they want something else, or that they are not okay with something they thought would be fine. This goes for the organizers, other players and yourself.

    People might back out of scenes and relationships you planned together with them before the game. You need to be okay with that. Sometimes because the subject is uncomfortable, people will back out of it in weird ways, for example by hiding from you out of character. If you get a sense that someone is trying to avoid something you planned, you can try giving them a way to gracefully back out of it. For example, by out-of-character asking them if they want to take play in another direction than you planned. Or just by giving them the space to keep avoiding you.

    Aim for giving yourself and others the level of nastiness they want, but always adjust your level of nastiness so that everyone involved is okay with it. One approach to this is to start low and then work up towards to the desired level.

    No matter what people said before the game, you need to be very attentive to other player signals during the game. If you are unsure if someone is uncomfortable in or out of character, ease up and see how they react; or check in if they are okay out of character. If the game uses safety or calibration rules, use them.

    Things to Avoid

    There are a few things you should try to avoid when playing a nasty character, almost no matter what.

    • Never attack out of character traits. For example, someone’s body shape, appearance, real-life disabilities etc.
    • Don’t behave recklessly around children. No scene is so great that it is worth traumatizing a child.
    • If your gut tells you something is wrong, don’t ignore it. Be on the safe side.

    If you often play nasty character you might once in while fuck up. You won’t listen to your gut, you will say something that was hurtful out of character, and if you play around children you will realize the kids weren’t as far away as you thought during your evil scene. If that happens, go out of character, apologize and tell them it was out of line. You can do this right away, or wait a little while if it’s hard to do right away. Even if you make a mistake people will often be okay with it if you take responsibility and apologize.

    Erica Kolppanen as a vampire. Photo by Emmielie Nordström, Lajvlabbet photoshoot 2014. Erica Kolppanen as a vampire. Photo by Emmielie Nordström, Lajvlabbet photoshoot 2014.

    Aspects of the Character to Consider

    When you play, create, or are given a nasty character there are some aspects to keep in mind. These aspects will affect how other players experience your character as well as your own experience. Consider how the behaviors used to portray your character may affect other players. Consider whether those behaviors may cause discomfort to players who have experienced similar behaviors before.

    Close to Home or Not?

    One of those aspects is how close or far from home the character is. By close to home I mean the type of character many of us have personal experiences of. Schoolyard bullies, abusive partners or parents for example. Far from home are characters you don’t have, and perhaps no one has, personal experiences of. For example, evil necromancers and murderous aliens.

    When you play something far from home, let’s say an evil necromancer, it is unlikely that anyone will have personal painful memories and traumas related to necromancy. People expect an evil mage to say vile and nasty things and often take it less personally. As a rule of thumb people are less sensitive to far from home villains and their actions.

    But if you play a character closer to home, let’s say a bully, it is likely that other players have out-of-character traumas relating to bullying. Because of this, you should be more watchful how your words and actions might be more painful due to real-life traumas.

    One thing to watch out for is if you play a character that you didn’t consider close to home, but might be close to home for other players. Maybe you don’t have any experiences of gang-related violence, but it might be a subject that is close to home for other players. So please consider if anyone might have personal experience of the type of character you portray.

    Enemy or Team Member?

    Something to consider when you play a nasty character is whether you will be considered an enemy or a member of the group. This greatly affects how people will feel about your actions. If some enemy calls you “a useless piece of shit” it may not bother you, because you expect an enemy to insult you. But when someone on your side says the same thing it stings a lot worse.

    When you play a nasty character, it is good to be aware of this dynamic. An unsympathetic friend, team or family member’s actions feels differently than those of an enemy. If you play in a game with rival factions you might do both: be a member of one group and the enemy of another.

    The Social Situation

    When playing a nasty character, the social context matters. We larp with others, and for your own gameplay’s sake it is important to consider the social situation your character will face. Talk, if possible, with your fellow players before the game about what sort of social dynamic you want. Here are some common examples of social situations that you can use.

    Lonely: Unsympathetic bastards don’t make a lot of friends, so one of the common social situations for nasty characters is to end up in is being pretty lonely. Other characters might want to avoid you and you might end up spending much of the larp alone. Being loathed and lonely can be an awesome experience as well, but it doesn’t suit all players. If you don’t want to spend much of the larp alone you might consider other options.

    With like-minded companions: Birds of a feather flock together. If you are a gang, or a few nasty characters, it can be natural for you to hang out together. It also turns you into a powerhouse of nastiness when there is a whole group of you. You can also support each other out of character. This is an option that I would recommend to newbies.

    Part of the team or part of the family: Every family has their black sheep. If you play a nasty character that is a member of some kind of group that won’t kick you out at the first opportunity, you can have a very social larp even if you play a pain in the ass. Especially if you are in a position of power in the group. Group membership also creates a situation where you can play a nasty character in general but having a few genuine positive relationships in the group.

    Well liked and total bastard: Then there is the final option, which is really hard to pull off. To be well liked and nasty at the same time. For this to work, you really need to be able to do it, because even if you ask other players to play to lift and play up that your character is both charismatic and unsympathetic as hell, it tends to fall at and just feel like the other characters are just sucking up.

    You need to make players and characters alike both love and hate the character. But if you can make it work it is amazing. It takes a bit of daring to try to pull it off, and it won’t always work. You might end up being passionately hated instead, or not coming off as vile as you wanted. This means you might end up playing a different character in a different social situation than you hoped for, which might still give you a great experience. But it is worth trying if you are okay with the risk of it failing.

    Nasty Towards A few Targets or the Whole Larp?

    Will your character be nasty to a large portion of the characters, or single out just a few? It will make a huge difference emotionally; both for the targets of the nastiness and for yourself.

    If you are nasty to just a few characters it means that you can have a lot of positive relationships towards other characters too. On the other hand, people often find it a lot crueler, and feel more vulnerable, when a nasty character singles out a few targets. You also have to make sure it is not experienced as off-game bullying.

    While if you are a bastard towards everyone you will have no or very few positive relationships to other characters; and because everyone has negative interactions with you, other characters will take the things your character does less personally.

    Bleed and Aftercare

    When you play an unsympathetic character bleed and aftercare are important topics to consider.

    After the larp, players of characters who spent the whole time fearing, hating and loathing your character might have some lingering negative bleed towards you. That bleed doesn’t entitle them to behave badly towards you, but you should respect that it might be there. After the game, be nice, go and talk to players who had negative interactions with your character. Check in with them to see if they are okay, talk to them about the scenes, and give them a chance to get an out-of-character impression of you. Changing your look also helps others get over that bleed. Put on some other clothes, change your hair and makeup, wear a silly hat… The less you look like your character, the better. Tell them that you are actually nice, but that you totally understand if they are still feeling some negative bleed.

    Then there is your own bleed and aftercare to deal with. Some people experience guilt after playing a nasty character. Some people who spent the larp being emotionally detached will feel a need to emotionally connect, be part of the group and hear that they did a great job. Some people will feel a need to apologize. Others want to get a distance from the character by fooling around and making fun of their own character.

    Often playing a perpetrator is emotionally harder than playing a victim. Do whatever self-care you feel that you need, as long as it doesn’t affect others badly.

    You might after the larp have to remind other players that even if you played a nasty character, you have the same aftercare needs as everyone else. It might be that you need to feel that you are part of the group out of character, you might feel a need to talk about the larp and be listened to, or need just as many hugs as everyone else. It is easy for other players to forget that, after you have been playing their enemy. It is okay to remind them.

    Don’t Defend the Cruel Things Your Character Did as Right

    There is one more thing that is important after the larp. Don’t defend the nasty things your character did toward other characters. Bullying is a horrible thing to do to another person. Torture is even more so. And so on. While you on some level might need to empathize with your character to understand why they took that kind of action, that doesn’t change what they did. Out of character you have a responsibility to acknowledge that fact. Own it. Admit it. Don’t defend shitty things your character did to other characters. Maybe they did so because they were emotionally fucked up, forced to do it or were socialized into thinking it was right. Maybe your character did some nice things too. That doesn’t matter.

    In many cases, it will be important for your fellow players to hear you acknowledge what your character did to theirs, without you trying to justify and defend it. Be clear that your character did things that caused harm, and while you might understand why the character did so, that doesn’t change anything. By acknowledging that your character caused harm, other players will feel more secure around you when you play unsympathetic characters.

    In Conclusion

    There are many ways to play a nasty character, and I hope that this article has given you some tips on what to keep in mind when playing them. By now you have probably noted that this article didn’t give you any concrete tips on exactly what to do, what to say, how to push people around and so on. That is because there is too much diversity. I can’t give advice that would work both for an orc war leader, and a jealous snobby ex-partner. This aim of the article is to give you categories to consider and keep in mind when you are playing a nasty character.

    If you have questions or want to discuss the article please get in touch with me on social media or send me an email.

    The author Elin Dalstål playing the nasty character Agnes. Photo by Emmelie Nordström, På Gott och Ont photoshoot 2016. The author Elin Dalstål playing the nasty character Agnes. Photo by Emmelie Nordström, På Gott och Ont photoshoot 2016.

    This article is part of Re-Shuffling the Deck, the companion journal for Knutepunkt 2018.

    All articles from the companion can be found on the Knutpunkt 2018 category.

    Cover photo: Näcken. Photo by Emmelie Nordström, På Gott och Ont photoshoot 2017.

  • Bad Larp Design: Choking Hazard

    Published on

    in

    Bad Larp Design: Choking Hazard

    Written by

    Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nordiclarp.org or any larp community at large.

    If someone is unable to breathe, that is an emergency. After three minutes without air, there is risk of brain damage. After somewhere between six to eight minutes without air, the person will typically die if breathing is not restored.

    That is why, when someone seems to be choking or having difficulties breathing at a larp, you should always assume the situation is real and go to their immediate aid. You have to act fast. With just three minutes to potential brain damage, there is no time to wait and figure out if the player is just acting or if it is the “real deal.” On top of that, someone having difficulties breathing cannot shout “Hold,” “Cut,” or anything else to show that it is a real emergency. Often, due to panic, the person who cannot breathe can’t use any non-verbal signals either.

    Therefore, you should never, ever design larp mechanics that require participants to role-play that their characters have breathing difficulties or are, indeed, choking. In particular, you should never design plagues, poisons and other maladies which would affect a lot of characters and thus create spontaneous choking scenes.((A larp blog isn’t the best place to give medical advice, but there are lot of great first aid videos on the subject, made by professionals, which you could easily check out. For example, this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccr4lKZjHks))

    When players expect to see other players role-playing characters with breathing difficulties, there is great risk that someone will mistake a real emergency for an in-character role-play, and not act on it. Especially, if everyone is pretending to wheeze and have a hard time inhaling. Having some sort of a non-verbal signal to show that you are okay can be good, but it actually only helps if you are okay. If no one rushes over to you in a real emergency because they assume you are role-playing, an okay-signal isn’t any help. As time is of the essence in such emergencies, even a delayed reaction can have serious consequences.

    Role-playing heart attacks or strokes poses the same risks as role-playing breathing problems, as they, too, are time critical life-threatening emergencies. For that reason, I advise people to avoid role-playing them as well.

    Of course, we can design larps in which characters get poisoned or fall ill. I just recommend that the designers choose symptoms that do not look exactly like a real emergency that must be resolved within minutes. For example, you can use vomiting, skin lesions, screaming in pain, writhing on the floor, bleeding from the eyes, numbness spreading in the body, or anything else you can come up with as long as it isn’t easily mistaken for a very common, time-critical emergency.

    Cover photo: Illustration by John Barkestedt/Xhakhal. http://xhakhal.tumblr.com/

  • Self Care Comes First: A Larp and Convention Policy

    Published on

    in

    Self Care Comes First: A Larp and Convention Policy

    Written by

    Author Elin Dalstål during FjällCon 2016. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.
    Author Elin Dalstål during FjällCon 2016. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.

    In this post I will outline the effects of stressing the importance of self care at larps and gaming events. The post will discuss both the effects on the safety and comfort of the players, as well as how it affects the overall event in other aspects. The post is aimed at larp and convention organizers first and foremost, but also members of the community.

    Why Is Self Care Important?

    Great work is being done in both the larp and gaming convention scene to improve player safety and comfort, but many of the techniques and methods becomes less effective if organizers and the community don’t communicate the importance of self care.

    For example, why should a player use a safeword to break a scene they are uncomfortable with? Unless it is made clear that the player taking care of themselves is more important than not disturbing play, players will be reluctant to use it. They will suffer rather than disturb the scene. Communicating that self care comes first makes players more inclined to actually take care of themselves by using the safety resources the event has to offer.

    By stressing self care you give players a reason and responsibility to use those methods. It tells them why it should be used.

    Background

    Participant doing self care at FjällCon 2016. Photo by Johanna Nyberg Hamren.
    Participant doing self care at FjällCon 2016. Photo by Johanna Nyberg Hamren.

    I started to use the “self care comes first” policy whilst organising some physically demanding larps and gaming conventions that included hiking in the arctic wilderness. During these type of events, safety is important because at times participants may only be reachable by air ambulance if something were to happen. When you’re standing on an arctic mountain, you can’t simply opt out if you become exhausted or get a blister or what have you. You must make the hike back home, no matter what (short of calling an ambulance helicopter or spending the night under the stars). Safety mattered here, and I needed to encourage my players to make smart decisions in order that they could always make that hike back home. So I began to stress that self care comes first.

    It became my mantra and policy for the events. I repeated it over and over until the players started to repeat it among themselves. I stressed that while it is important that we support and help each other, you are the person best suited to take care of yourself. I can’t feel if someone else has a headache coming on. I can’t rest for anyone else. I can’t drink water for anyone else. I can’t feel what anyone else is comfortable with, or be aware when someone else’s existing injury or health condition starts acting up.

    You yourself are most often the person best suited to identify, take care of, and communicate your needs and boundaries. Therefore your first responsibility is self care. Short and simple.

    I also stressed that it is a boring and adult policy. Self care is often boring: skipping fun stuff to prioritize rest when you need it, getting a decent night’s sleep, eating a nourishing meal, putting on a band-aid in time, being mindful of your medical conditions, putting on an ugly sweater when you are cold, opting out of stuff, communicating your needs and boundaries even if the conversation is uncomfortable, asking others for help, and using the support and safety resources that are available. Do whatever is needed to take care of yourself, but if your actions are going to affect other players, talk to them so that you don’t impose on someone else’s well-being by accident.

    Self care is a responsibility and responsibilities aren’t always fun.

    Effects of the Policy

    This policy was intended to improve physical safety during those events, but it soon became apparent that it didn’t just improve physical safety, but it also strengthened my other efforts to make the events safe.

    So what were the effects of the policy? The first thing that really stood out is that people had more naps in the afternoon.

    Participant looking down on the landscape below FjällCon 2016. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.
    Participant looking down on the landscape below FjällCon 2016. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.

    What I saw was that the policy is effective, but the effects seen are typically anticlimactic. Players make smart little decisions in the background, taking more preventive actions – such as having a nap in the afternoon. In turn, this means that players are less likely to break down during the evening or the following day due to stress or exhaustion. Participants tend to think things through ahead of time, opting out of or steering things in other directions, to avoid getting into situations they do not want to end up in. They make an effort to communicate their needs and boundaries ahead of time rather than just in the heat of the moment. There is less crying, crises, and fewer close calls for both physical and emotional reasons.

    The side effects of this policy is that it affects the pacing of an event somewhat. Mainly, that players tend to take it easy or opt out of stuff earlier in the day rather than in the evening. I don’t see this as a bad thing, but at first I had not planned for the lull that came about when more players prioritized rest during the afternoon. Things slowed down at an unexpected time, but that rest period also meant that I had more players present and energetic in the evening instead, when you often plan the climactic scenes during a larp or the evening session at convention. Which I see as a win, but something to be aware of.

    While I noticed the policy affect all participants, I noticed that it had an especially positive effect on a special group of players.

    Altruistic Bastards

    Storyteller giving player shadow instuctions during Vandingen 2014. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.
    Storyteller giving player shadow instuctions during Vandingen 2014. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.

    When you stress that self care comes first, it has a strong effect on altruistic players – the kind and lovely players that routinely put others first even at the cost of their own well being. If you push the message that self care comes first hard enough – those altruistic bastards MIGHT JUST STOP AND THINK FOR A MOMENT before they push themselves too far to be nice to others.

    You know who I’m talking about. You might very well be one of the nice people I am talking about. Most larping and gaming communities have these altruistic bastards, who while they are super nice, can cause problems and set a bad example by pushing themselves too far. Even if they do it for the best of reasons. Because they create a culture where good players, nice players, the players you look up to, push themselves too far. To exhaustion or to where they will be hurt (physically or emotionally) at the event. Because they are good people others will follow their example.

    So, telling your players that self care comes first, while giving those altruistic bastards a good stare down, might just make them think before they do that. That they may care for others, but that it is actually bad for everyone’s safety and well being if they don’t take care of themselves as well. Self care comes first.

    Other Reasons Players Push Themselves Too Hard

    There are other reasons why players may push themselves too hard at events. At some larps and conventions, there is almost a competition about who has slept the least, taken as few breaks as possible, had the most intense play, done the craziest shit, and hurts the most after the game.

    This attitude is stupid. I think you should be allowed to do stupid shit, but when there is a social pressure to see who makes the worst decisions, that is just a race to the bottom.

    Argument between characters at Vandringen 2015. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.
    Argument between characters at Vandringen 2015. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.

    I do think larp and other gaming events can be places where you test your limits and push yourself out of your comfort zone, but I think that should only be by free choice, and that you should only do it after doing a sober risk assessment and taking the necessary self care precautions you need to do it in a sane, safe and responsible way.

    We should create a culture where it might be okay to test your limits in a responsible way at times, but you are expected to do so without neglecting your duty to practice self care. You just can’t leave self care out of the equation when you go outside your comfort zone.

    How to Implement It

    Let’s say you organize a larp or convention, or run a game at a someone else’s convention: how do you implement this policy?

    In general, you can just add the policy to whatever policy that already exists. Saying that self care comes first doesn’t change how you do things – it only tells players how they should prioritize during the event.

    Tell them that self care comes first and communicate, both in text and in person at least once, what you mean by it.

    You could use some variation of this text:

    Self care comes first policy:

    While it is important that we support and help each other, you are the person best suited to take care of yourself. I can’t feel if someone else has a headache coming on. I can’t rest for anyone else. I can’t drink water for anyone else. I can’t feel what anyone else is comfortable with, or be aware when someone’s existing injury or health condition starts acting up.

    You yourself are most often the person that is best suited to identify, take care of, and communicate your needs and boundaries. Therefore your first responsibility is self care. Short and simple. Therefore self care comes first at this event.

    This is a boring and adult policy. Self care can mean skipping fun stuff to prioritize rest when you need it, getting a decent night’s sleep, eating a nourishing meal, putting on a band-aid in time, being mindful of your medical conditions, putting on an ugly sweater when you are cold, opting out of stuff, communicating your needs and boundaries even if the conversation is uncomfortable, asking others for help, and using the support and safety resources that are available. Do whatever is needed to take care of yourself even if it is not exciting. If your actions are going to affect other players, talk to them so that you don’t impose on someone else’s wellbeing by accident.

    Self care is a responsibility and responsibilities aren’t always fun.

    When the policy has been explained once – use repetition to drive home the message. “Self care comes first” is a short four word sentence, so you can repeat it often without it taking up much of your organizers’ precious time. You can add it to the emails you send to the players, write it on the web page, and share it on social media. You can say it a lot during the event at different times and so on. Do it often enough and your players will start repeating it among themselves.

    (Bonus points if you kept count of how many times I repeated  “self care comes first” in this post so far. I really mean it when I say I believe in repetition).

    Conclusion

    While this policy came about for physically and emotionally demanding gaming events at remote locations, I use it for all sorts of events now. My view is that many larps’ and conventions’ safety and support policies could be improved by stressing that self care comes first.

    We can talk all we want about communicating boundaries and respecting each other, but unless people prioritize listening to their own signals and their own needs, there will be nothing to communicate. Everything starts with self care.

    When you stress that your players have a responsibility to see to self care first, you give them the alibi to do just that. It strengthens other safety and support procedures like safewords to calibrate play intensity, encourages players to communicate their needs and feelings, and normalizes opting out as a responsibility not just an option.

    We can have all the safety precautions in place, but we need players to prioritize self care if we want players to actually use them.

    Cover photo: Players hiking in character during Vandringen 2015. Photo by Emmelie Nordström.