Tag: mental health

  • Organising Larps during War in Ukraine and Palestine

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    Organising Larps during War in Ukraine and Palestine

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    “We won’t stop the larp if it’s just an air raid.”

    — Anna Posetselska, Ukranian larp designer and organizer

    When war erupts, larps come to a halt. The same holds true for various other cultural activities. Society is in a state of suspension. Individuals are fixated on their phones, doomscrolling through the news and social media. Larpers stay connected, checking in on each other – has someone we know died, have the bombs struck a town where our friends or relatives reside?

    However, in the subsequent weeks, months, or even years, larp returns, even if the war persists. This occurred in both Ukraine, grappling with the Russian invasion since February 2022, and in Palestine, where the recent war in Gaza started in October 2023. Ukrainian larp designer and organizer Anna Posetselska, along with Palestinian larp professional and designer Tamara Nassar, provide insights into what it is like to organise a larp during times of war.

    Larping during wartime in Ukraine

    One of Anna Posetselska’s players was a real-life battle medic. She brought her enormous medical kit to the larp in case the venue, a holiday village about 30 kilometers from Kyiv, would be hit by Russian bombs.

    “The small places around Kyiv are rarely targeted,” Posetselska says. “We were prepared to move the larp if the situation became too dangerous.”

    During play, there were air raids, but the game was not paused.

    “We won’t stop the larp if it’s just an air raid,” Posetselska says.

    “We experience air raids in Kyiv all the time; just last night, there were explosions. They are part of our everyday life now; we have grown accustomed to them, at least to some extent. We don’t rush to a shelter every time we hear an air raid alert because if we do, we’ll sit there half a day many times a week. That way, you lose your sanity much faster than you lose your life. The chances of losing your life in an air raid while larping are rather low.”

    Posetselska’s larp Nevermore: Family Issues, was played in May 2023. The 60-player larp was loosely based on the Netflix series Wednesday. The story about a high school for special kids who are taught how to live with ordinary people was both accessible and safe.

    During war, people have many things on their minds, and just surviving from day to day can require a lot of mental energy and resources. That is why a larp should be easily accessible, Posetselska explains. She needed a ready, playable world that the players could grasp easily and without too much effort. Watching a couple of episodes of Wednesday was enough.

    Another reason to choose the world of Wednesday was that Posetselska aimed to transport the participants as far away as possible from the war. 

    Photo of three people outside
    Nevermore: Family Issues (2023). Photo by Anna Posetselska. Photo has been cropped.

    “There’s an ongoing discourse about larp as a form of escapism and the extent to which players engage in larp to distance themselves from reality. In our case, the answer was evident: participants genuinely sought an escape from their daily lives. We urgently needed to transport them to a different place and persona,” Posetselska says.

    The setting had to incorporate dramatic elements and challenging questions and relationships, yet avoid overly sensitive themes.

    “When designing a larp during a war, it’s crucial to ensure that people are not further traumatized or confronted with themes too close to home,” she emphasizes.

    Could players detach from their everyday concerns and immerse themselves in the lives of high school students and personnel? Yes and no, Posetselska says.

    “Players conveyed afterward that the sense of community was robust, and they experienced relaxation. Not everyone could fully immerse themselves in the game – it may not have necessarily been attributed to the larp or their fellow players, but rather to the exceptionally challenging situation they were in outside the larp. They expressed having a good time, but were unable to completely set aside the worries from the outside world.”

    During breaks in the game, both players and organisers scrutinised their social media feeds – had any significant events occurred, had the rockets struck anyone they knew? However, unlike the previous year, individuals managed to stop constantly scrolling through distressing news and concentrate on the game.

    Ethical questions

    Before the onset of the war, Anna Posetselska made a larp every few years. 

    “Designing larps is a profoundly significant aspect of my life; I feel invigorated when channeling my mental energy into creating games. I wanted to create something for over a year, but it was impossible due to the war.”

    Person standing by a tree holding a phone Nevermore: Family Issues (2023). Photo by Anna Posetselska.

    In 2022, the year of Russia’s major invasion, the larp community engaged in discussions regarding the ethical implications of playing larps during wartime. A pertinent question arose: do larpers possess the right to partake in leisure, enjoy and relax while their friends – many of whom are fellow larpers – are engaged in active combat and losing their lives? This ethical deliberation extended to various facets of life, questioning the appropriateness of social activities like dining out and attending plays or concerts when one’s compatriots are fighting.

    “But soldiers fighting in the frontlines kept saying that they were fighting and dying so we could live. At some point you attempt to reinstate elements of your everyday life, otherwise you get mentally very unwell,” Posetselska says.

    In February 2023, a modest larp involving approximately 20 players was organised in Kyiv. Evaluating the community’s response, Posetselska understood that it was something larpers desperately needed. Those fortunate to participate were elated, while those unable to partake experienced profound disappointment. 

    “Playing larps constituted a significant component of our lives, and the community ardently yearned for a return to normalcy.” 

    Posetselska notes that when she announced her larp, it encountered no opposition; rather, it was met with unanimous enthusiasm and support. 

    Narrow planning horizon

    Photo of two people embracing each other outside
    Nevermore: Family Issues (2023). Photo by Anna Posetselska. Photo has been cropped.

    Before 2022, Posetselska typically started the planning process for a larp approximately a year before its scheduled date. Now, she conceived the idea for Nevermore in March 2023 and decided to execute it as swiftly as possible. The prevailing wartime conditions added to the urgency.

    “In the initial months of the war, we couldn’t plan even a few days ahead. Then, the planning horizon would widen from days to weeks and eventually expand to a month. Presently, we operate on a planning cycle spanning a couple of months,” she says. 

    Who knows what will happen to you or your friends in half a year? During war, six months feels like an eternity. Posetselska calculated the shortest time the larp would take to design and prepare and decided to run it in May, just over two and a half months after getting the idea.

    Prior to the war, Ukrainian larps were predominantly played in Russian. However, the linguistic landscape has since changed, as there is a growing trend towards making and playing larps in Ukrainian. Despite the fact that Russian is Posetselska’s mother tongue, she embraced the challenge of composing for the first time all game materials in Ukrainian. This linguistic shift, while demanding, was important because the Ukrainian language has become a more significant part of Ukrainian identity after the 2022 invasion. Participants, mostly from Kyiv but also from other Ukrainian cities, alongside a few international attendees returning to their homeland for the larp, predominantly engaged in gameplay in Ukrainian, irrespective of their native tongues.

    Demand for a larp

    Posetselska’s foresight proved accurate: there was a substantial demand for a weekend-long larp. Initially conceptualized for 40 players, the larp was expanded for 60 participants due to overwhelming interest and perceived necessity.

    In Ukrainian larps, character creation often involves collaborative efforts between players and designers, and this held true for Nevermore. Typically, during times of peace, players engage in preparations for multiple larps simultaneously. This time they only concentrated on Nevermore. Posetselska notes that she has never encountered, and likely won’t encounter in the future, the level of engagement and dedication she observed among participants preparing for Nevermore.

    “People exhibited an unprecedented level of creativity, contributing an incredible array of ideas, and demonstrating remarkable support,” she remarks. 

    Person with purple umbrella standing near seated person
    Nevermore: Family Issues (2023). Photo by Anna Posetselska. Photo has been cropped.

    The impact of Nevermore extended beyond its immediate context, inspiring other designers to initiate larp events.

    “Many designers who had been awaiting a more opportune or secure moment came to realise that the time for larping is now,” Posetselska says. 

    She knows of several minilarps tailored for small circles of friends, as well as half a dozen larger games spanning 2-3 days. The common objective across these endeavors is to transport players as far away as possible from the grim realities of war.

    Political awareness in Palestine

    Two thousand kilometers south of Kyiv, in the Occupied Palestinian Territories, larpers have adopted a markedly different approach. Since the latest war in Gaza started in October 2023, all larps in the West Bank have centered around themes of war, occupation, stress relief and political awareness.

    Tamara Nassar, a Palestinian larp designer and organiser working for the Palestinian larp organization Bait Byout, asserts, “It would feel disrespectful towards our friends and relatives who are dying in Gaza to play larps for fun.”

    Bait Byout collaborates with various organizations, predominantly NGOs, introducing them to larp and aiding them in achieving their objectives by incorporating larp into their toolkit. They are currently running a project, together with the British-founded organization Oxfam International, that addresses women’s sexual and reproductive health education through larp.

    With the Swiss charitable organization Drosos Foundation, Bait Byout runs Larp Factory, targeting participants aged 18-35 studying or working in the social sector. The program spans five weeks and involves 22 participants in an educational journey where they acquire skills in playing, designing, and organizing larps. Upon completion, participants are equipped to utilize larp as a tool in their professional settings.

    Additionally, Bait Byout has in the past designed and run larps for both adults and children in Palestine and Palestinian refugee camps in Lebanon.

    As the war unfolded in Gaza in October 2023, Palestinians on the West Bank held their breath.

    “We knew to expect bad things, but the level of destruction was unimaginable. Everything stopped, the whole society stopped,” Nassar describes. While Israel started bombing Gaza, violence in the West Bank also skyrocketed, Nassar says. Over 300 people have been killed in the West Bank, 80 kilometers from Gaza. 

    Nassar grimly acknowledges, “We know that Israel is not going to stop in Gaza; we are next.”

    New challenges

    Bait Byout was looking at opportunities to take larps to Gaza, but those projects are now on hold. The five-week Larp Factory course which was planned to start in October, faced complications due to the war.

    The situation in the West Bank has become substantially more perilous. Bait Byout had planned workshops and minilarps across various locations in the West Bank, but had to revise the plans. Several challenges arose due to the war. 

    First, the Israeli military has closed most of the checkpoints the Palestinians have to cross to move between cities in the West Bank.

    Second, Israeli settlers have become more violent. They patrol the backroads the Palestinians were sometimes able to use to move around, and are using firearms more often. 

    Additionally, since October 2023, daily raids on Palestinian homes and arbitrary detention of Palestinian civilians by Israeli soldiers have intensified. Palestinians can be detained without formal charges for extended periods, sometimes spanning months or even years. Violence and arrests had increased even before the war, but now such detentions are triggered by minor factors, such as discovering Gaza-related content on a Palestinian’s phone. Faced with these risks, Bait Byout could not expose their participants to potential harm.

    Nassar explains that to mitigate these challenges, “We had to gather all participants in Ramallah, secure lodgings for a few days, and confine them to this safer environment to minimize movement.” Participants would visit home briefly and then return for another session. Moving around was dangerous and had to be reduced as much as possible.

    At the time of the interview, participants of the Larp Factory had recently completed designing their first larps and were about to present them to the wider group in the coming days. The thematic focus of most larps centered on the social situation in Palestine. Furthermore, participants were about to play their first long larp, Tribes, a historical fiction exploring the tribes of Jericho.

    Focus on war, occupation and politics

    The war in Gaza has not only impacted the logistical aspects but has also influenced the thematic focus of the larps organized by Bait Byout. During the war, all of their larps are centered around the themes of war, occupation, stress relief and political awareness. Nassar believes there wouldn’t be a demand for larps  played only for entertainment in such a dire situation.

    “To have fun while they are dying over there? I don’t think people would accept that,” she says.

    Bait Byout had originally planned to run a fairytale larp titled Keys to the Kingdom, designed by Nassar, for 50-100 children aged 6-12. In this larp, participants assume the roles of fairies on a quest to retrieve stolen keys, overcoming trials to restore magic to the kingdom. 

    However, due to the wartime context, they opted for a different children’s larp called The Evil Lions & The Hungry Animals. In this scenario, players represent various animals oppressed by evil lions symbolizing the Israeli military. Through unity and setting aside differences, characters learn to rise against oppression and defeat the lions.

    The symbolism is evident to adults, but do the children understand that the larp is about the Israeli occupation over Palestinian territories, and the evil lions represent the Israeli military? 

    Most of them do, Nassar says. She explains that children experience the narrative as an opportunity to enjoy defeating the oppressor without delving too deeply into the political nuances. The larp serves as stress relief for kids, diverting their attention from the distressing news about the mass killing in Gaza. Chasing lions with water balloons is simply fun.

    The larps run as part of the women’s reproductive health program, too, underwent changes.

    After the war began, Nassar redesigned the game she was working on to include scenarios of women giving birth in Gaza during the conflict.

    “One cannot talk about sexual and reproductive health without mentioning the dire situation women are facing in Gaza,” Nassar explains. One of the scenes in A Journey of Discovery depicts the challenges faced by women having C-sections without anaesthesia in a region where Israel has bombed hospitals and power plants, and air strikes can occur while women are in labour.

    According to Nassar, Bait Byout goes against the tide by continuing to run larps. Many other activities such as sports, theatre, and music are currently on hold, and even festive celebrations during Christmas and Ramadan have been largely canceled or altered. The cultural institutions that do continue working have changed their program. It would not feel right to show comedies.     

    Bait Byout is now developing a series of larps about everyday life in Gaza during the war. They were supposed to reflect the Nakba of 1948, in which the Zionist movement and Israel violently displaced and killed Palestinians, damaging Palestinian  society, culture, identity, political rights, and national aspirations.

    “But another Nakba unfolding within the war on Gaza has changed the game to reflect the current situation,” Nassar says. The larps primarily target foreigners, especially employees of various international NGOs. At the time of writing, the Israeli military has killed over 30.000 Palestinians, overwhelmingly civilians.

    Ludography

    Nevermore: Family Issues (2023): Ukraine. Anna Posetselska.

    The Tribes (2013): Palestine. Janan Adawi, Sari Abdo, Majd Hamouri, Mohamad Rabah, Shadi Sader & Shadi Zatara.

    Keys to the Kingdom (2019):Palestine. Tamara Nassar.

    The Evil Lions & The Hungry Animals (2017): Palestine. Zaher Bassioni, Majd Hamouri & Mohamad Rabah.

    A Journey of Discovery (will be played in 2024): Palestine. Tamara Nassar, Fawzieh Shilbaya & Alaa Al Barghouthi.


    This article has been reprinted with permission from the Solmukohta 2024 book. Please cite as:

    Pettersson, Maria. 2024. “Organising Larps during War in Ukraine and Palestine.” In Liminal Encounters: Evolving Discourse in Nordic and Nordic Inspired Larp, edited by Kaisa Kangas, Jonne Arjoranta, and Ruska Kevätkoski. Helsinki, Finland: Ropecon ry.


    Cover photo: Photo by DangrafArt on Pixabay. Image has been cropped.

  • How I Learned to Stop Faking It and Be Real

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    How I Learned to Stop Faking It and Be Real

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    In my opinion, one of the most important things in being a good larper is to have self-awareness. This means knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses and being able to provide play for other players – but also knowing what one wants out of a larp and how it aligns with the vision and themes of the larp.

    After larping for some years, I thought I had a good perception of my strengths and weaknesses. For example, I knew that I was lousy with directions, so I should not try to play Aragorn. However, I knew that I was really good at organizing things and playing a leader, so I thought I should actually try to play Aragorn.

    It all came down to balance and knowing that I could play most of the characters I wanted to as long as I tweaked them, had trusted friends around, and communicated well with the organizers. In addition, I was very good at making sure that my body was strong enough to carry heavy things at a larp if a character demanded it and letting the organizers know if there was something that needed to be adjusted or not played on. For example, I could tell them that I am really bad when it comes to close combat since I am short and lazy.

    Over the years, I learned more about what kinds of characters I could give the most for and what characters I could grow into. But while I was great at communicating about my practical skills and all my larp needs related to them, I was not up to par with being transparent about my health. Or rather, my mental health.

    As all people, I had ups and downs. But to tell it bluntly, there were some years when I was in a downward spiral. While I had been very outspoken to my friends about my mental health and the importance of self care, I was adamant that it would not impact my larping.

    Woman in white in a white room near a painting with a finger over her mouth
    The author at the larp House of Cravings (2023). Photo by Martin Østlie Lindelien.

    Mental health issues can range from depression and PTSD to anxiety, self harm, and eating disorders (to only mention a few examples). All of these should be taken seriously and treated as reasons to get help. It does not matter what my mental health issues were. What is important is how they impacted my larping. The biggest thing they brought to me was shame over feeling the way I did and having the issues I had.

    I wanted to play pretend in my hobby and to be strong without letting my issues bleed over to my co-larpers. And I was hesitant to communicate what I needed to my co-larpers since I did not fully know what I needed. Was it sympathy? Maybe concrete hands-on help if I would not be able to play out a scene? Understanding if I needed to break the game for a time? Underneath these thoughts there was a fear of being rejected. What if people thought I was too broken to play with?

    With that, I made a promise to myself to basically take care of myself, to be a great larper and be open in every way – but not when it came to what I needed from my co-larpers and organizers with my trauma and mental health issues.

    Of course, in retrospect, that was a horrible idea.

    When things got hard or triggered something in me, I had to hide it. I rather pushed it down than caused trouble. I pushed myself to the breaking point when it came to organizing and being available to my co-players – just to prove that I was not broken. I did not cancel a single larp, but in the end, I played for my co-players, not for myself. I tried to make sure that they had fun but ended up having less fun myself.

    On the other hand, I was adamant in advising my friends and co-larpers to do the opposite of what I was doing. I always encouraged them to be open with all their needs and health issues. I was the one who took people aside to sit down and have a chat. I was the one who offered a shoulder to cry on during larps.

    Then something happened a couple of years ago. It was a standard larp with no hard themes — and played with trusted friends. I was responsible for a small group and all was well. Apart from that it was not. Around this time in life, I was struggling more than ever. I wanted to stay at home all the time and the only thing that pushed me to the larp was the knowledge that I had people relying on me.

    There was a scene, some larp fight – and suddenly I blacked out with over ten minutes of which I have no memory of. People told me that I did a great scene with screaming and fighting, and that they were surprised over seeing me get that physical.

    I have no memory of this. The next thing I remember is sitting in the darkness by a lake and silently crying my eyes out. I felt so ashamed and broken. Most of all, I did not know how to handle this or how to reach out to friends. So I cried a bit more and then went back into the tent and took care of my group.

    The big change came only recently. I had gotten used to hiding how I felt at larps or conferences and just faking it all the way. Always smiling, always acting like I did not care, doing my best to be the steady port for others.

    I thought I had a great system for handling myself in the larp community. And then came a larp when it just did not work anymore. I had, again, the responsibility for a small group. I should have been able to keep it together, so I just ignored the feeling of terror. But for the first time, I could not push myself anymore.

    I contacted my group. I told them that I had limited energy and told them to make sure to steer their larp away from relying on only me. I told them that I would need breaks but that I could handle it.

    Then I contacted the organizers. I told them everything. On how I was at my limit but that I really wanted to give the larp a try. I told them what could be done, both for me and my group. They were wonderful in assuring that things were ok and that I was welcome with limited energy and all my brokenness.

    The larp was a bit of a blur. I was really tired and had to rest a lot. I cried off-game in an organizer’s arms. I was sitting and resting on a friend’s lap and had her pat my hair until I could breathe again. But I had the energy to give my everything and to feel into myself. I created magic for my co-larpers and for myself. And for the first time in years I felt I was larping for myself. 

    I went home from that larp with a sense of sadness and peace. Sadness over how easy it had been and how many years I had robbed from myself. Peace in knowing that it would be so much easier from now on.

    That experience changed larping for me. I no longer take on responsibilities for groups alone. I put myself first when it comes to how I travel to, sleep, and eat during larps. I share my needs before and after a larp, both with organizers and with my friends. I try to be open with my co-players if things are hard. When they ask how they can support me, I answer their questions honestly. 

    Woman in Viking gear sitting in the woods
    The author in Viking garb (2021).

    During any larp, I take the time to rest, and I step off-game when I need to. If I feel I don’t have the energy for something, I cancel it and try to do it in good time. After a larp, I take the time to land. I might not always succeed in it but I do my best. And I give myself that time. 

    A while ago, I went to a very challenging larp. Even before the larp, my sleep pattern was non-existent and I had mental health issues that were acting up. I opened up to a co-larper when she asked if I needed anything and that helped a lot. Then after the first part of the larp, I just crashed. There were no triggers or bad things involved. I had just pushed myself too hard and too much.

    The main takeaway was that I could accept the help from organizers who just sat together with me in a dark room while I cried. I managed to explain my needs and reached out to a loved one who came and held me. And with those small means of accepting help, speaking about my needs and just being honest, I could breathe and pick myself up for the rest of the larp. Looking back, I have come very far in how I handle myself, and I try to make sure to take care of my needs. Does it make me feel better? Absolutely not. I feel more vulnerable than in years and so broken. But I hope that it will pass in time. I will rather do this than go through another 20 years faking it.


    This article has been reprinted with permission from the Solmukohta 2024 book. Please cite as:

    Erlandsson, Anna. 2024. “How I Learned to Stop Faking It and Be Real.” In Liminal Encounters: Evolving Discourse in Nordic and Nordic Inspired Larp, edited by Kaisa Kangas, Jonne Arjoranta, and Ruska Kevätkoski. Helsinki, Finland: Ropecon ry.


    Cover photo: Photo by jaygeorge on Pixabay. Image has been cropped.